Grief is a Process not an Event

As a Clergy Woman of God, when I am preparing for a memorial service, I always remind the family I am working with that grief is a process and not an event.
When death or loss occurs, one enters the world of pain and sorrow which is a natural element in the cycle of life.
The love one feels towards a family member or friend, who has passed on, will remain in her/his heart and will never go away.
Our bereavement is directly proportionate to the love we have in our heart for another. The more love one feels, the more hurt he/she feels inside.
So many of us go through life never losing anyone, and suddenly, death happens and we experience the loss of a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a spouse, an aunt, an uncle, a grandparent, a partner or a best friend.
One can also experience the death of a job, or a long time relationship or friendship that ends while the institution or person is still present.
How long does it take for the deep feelings of abandonment and disappointment to subside? There is no clear cut answer. Why? Grief is a process and not an event. 

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